Icarus
by KanraOrihara1066
Summary: Don't fly too fucking high, You'll just get burned. Why didn't I listen?
1. Chapter 1

**well I won't bother you with an overly long authors note but I want to thank anyone who found this interesting enough to click on. It's been a few years since I've written a FanFiction and I'm excited to get back into the community. without further ado, I hope you all enjoy the story.**

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Don't fly too fucking high

You'll get burned.

Why didn't I listen?

That's what I told myself as I lay beaten and battered. The man who practically raised me looking down at me with a look a shock, pity, and I couldn't see it now but an expression that only said I told you so. He kneeled down to lift me up and I laid as dead weight in his arms. I didn't have the energy to support myself so I just let my eyes slip closed and my thoughts drift far away from this place.

Back when I was a child, or rather something closer to a feral cat. I didn't remember my parents, or any family as a matter of fact, I just remember wandering around behind older ghouls and picking up their leftovers like a hyena or vulture. I didn't know how to hunt or kill, I just knew I was hungry.

Then came Tsubasa. I guess maybe he felt bad for me or maybe he was just feeling generous. He took me in and raised me like his son. He taught me what I was and how to take care of myself. He also taught me to never push my limitations. When I was eight he sat me down and told me the story of Icarus but included a lesson of his own.

 _Humans don't like us and for good reason. You look like them... Talk like them… they'll except you and maybe even befriend you but won't hesitate to do away with you when they find out what you are. Don't get cocky Kaito. Don't get too close to them, you'll just get burned._

He told me that same story a thousand times and for a while I never really understood the connection. All I could think was how unfair it was. Why were human kids taught to shoot for the stars when I was being told to not get too close to the sun? I should have listened but of course I didn't. I flew too close to the fucking sun and landed in a cold damp alleyway being carried out like I was that same weak, malnourished little kid he found all those years ago.

Pain throbbed in every nerve of my body. Blood dripped from my fingertips onto the asphalt as my arm limply hung, swinging with every step Tsubasa took. It occurred to me with some amusement that I must be ruining his pristine white shirt, he was always so finicky about getting his nice clothes dirty. I let out a hoarse chuckle from my bloody chapped lip. A small distraction from the hell I'd been through that night.

"Sorry about the shirt, old man…" I mumbled in a raspy voice.

Tsubasa looked down at me with an expression of both relief and annoyance as I continue to lay limp in his arms. I could barely muster the energy to open my eyes but I could feel that familiar look of irritation and it was comforting to me. My eyes stung as tears began to well up in them. Why couldn't I have just listened to him?


	2. Chapter 2

This story starts three months ago with me sitting across from Tsubasa as he had his morning coffee. He was so ritualistic about that. He'd wake up, get dressed, have a cup of coffee, and leave for work. He worked a desk job to keep the lights on in our little studio apartment and I took a part time job and fast food restaurant so we could both have a little extra money in our pockets. I still debate whether it's worth the money to have to deal with the stench of grease that permeated not only my work but all of my work clothes. That thought seemed kind of useless as I was about to put on those same clothes and go to work.

About an hour that's where I found myself. Flipping burgers and holding back the intense nausea that the smell brought on. How did people even eat these? It smelled like a landfill in this golden arched hellhole. This wasn't worth the ¥764 an hour they paid me. After a few hours of sulking over the judge I so willingly took my watch beeped informing me it was time for his break. I sighed in relief and walked out to the patio without hesitation. At least I got a moment to breathe.

Damn I was hungry. It had been a good few weeks since I'd eaten and it hit me as I looked around at the people (or potential meals depending on how you looked at it). I had a half hour for break… if I tried really hard I could go eat before I had to get back to work… or just say I'm sick and take the day off, I mean I'm endangering customers right? Right. I had conceded to skipping the rest of the day when a boy walked up to where I was sitting seeming almost shy. He had messy auburn hair and dark brown eyes.

"Can I sit here?" he said glancing to the side as if he was embarrassed. It would have been kind of cute if my mind was anywhere but on eating.

"Yea sure, I'm getting up anyway." I mumbled as I stood up.

A look of disappointment replaced his timid one making me most feel bad. Was he hitting on me? It didn't matter, I'd have to turn him down anyway, he was human. I ran my hand through my black hair, pushing it back out of my face as I looked to the side sighing.

"I uh… I work the same shift here tomorrow if you wanna have lunch then…" the boy in front of me perked up and I mentally hit myself. I knew I shouldn't but one lunch wouldn't kill me right? it might actually be nice to socialize with someone. The kid looked happy and I could go eat finally. It was a win win I guess?

"I'll see you then…" I mumbled as I turned to walk away.

"wait! W-what's your name?" he called out before going quite with his last few words. I turned back to see his cheeks slightly red from embarrassment.

"kaito… what about you?

"Haruto…" he said with a shy smile.

I gave him a small smile back before turning to leave. I walked a few blocks mindlessly, letting my thoughts wander. I waited until I was thoroughly hidden amongst alleyways before finally looking around. It didn't take long for me to find someone. A man leaning against the brick wall, a cigarette hanging loosely between his lips.

No one was around and my hunger was pushing me forward. My eyes slowly shifted to black, my irises glowing red. I licked my lips and felt my heart beat faster as I snuck towards him. I let out a deep breath before closing what little distance was left pinning him to the wall and covering his mouth. His eyes widened in panic as they met my own and I didn't hesitate as I tore at the collar of his shirt and bit roughly into his pale shoulder. The man screamed in pain, the sound muffled by my hand. My other hand clawed into his abdomen, and as the blood soaked my hand his screams slowly turned to sobs.

That always made me feel so bad for them. I knew they had a life and family at home, I knew this hurt them, I knew this was at least to some degree wrong but what choice did I have? I tried to push that thought to the side as I continued to tear into the man. His cries and screams slowly faded to soft whimpers and he went limp in my arms. I let him fall to the ground crawled over him, continuing where I had left off. He soon fell silent and I could at least take comfort in the fact that he wasn't feeling this anymore.

As I proceeded to pick him clean to my satisfaction I could see a shadow start to loom over me. It wasn't human, they wouldn't be this calm. though my curiosity was soon answered as the person behind me spoke up.

"Really Kaito? In broad daylight?" Tsubasa said with disappointment in his voice.

I didn't look back at him. I didn't need to see whatever look he was giving me. "what? I was hungry." I mumbled, my eyes returning to their normal state.

He just shook his head. I stood up wiping the blood from my mouth. "I'm done anyway" I said turning to face him.

"we'll talk later." He said with irritation evident in his voice. "next time you get hungry in the middle of the day please try not to go after my coworkers." He snapped before turning to go inside.

I glanced around and was indeed behind his office building. Perhaps I hadn't used my better judgment on that one.


	3. Chapter 3

I returned home later that day and immediately made my way to the bathroom to take a shower. I turned the water to the hottest setting it could go and leaned my head against the shower letting out a long sigh as the scalding water ran down my back.

I watched red, diluted bloody water run down the drain as my mind started to drift. Tsubasa was probably going to kill him and his boss was going to chew him out but at least he was getting a few moments of peace.

After my shower I got out, slipped on some clean clothes, and went out to the main room to lay on the couch. I flipped the news on watching the screen as I let my thoughts go elsewhere. Next thing I knew it I was being jolted awake as Tsubasa shook my shoulder. I looked up at him with eyes hazy from sleep and blinked until my vision focused on the face in front of me. He didn't look angry which eased my mind some as I sat up to make room for him.

Tsubasa sat beside him with a sigh. "I don't think I need to tell you why I was mad… or what you did wrong… I think you know that so I'll just leave that…." He said looking at the screen of the TV. "I went in and acted like I found the body…. Said I saw some girl there and described the binge eating ghoul they keep talking about on the news…. So legally speaking, you're off the hook"

I sighed in relief leaning my head back on the couch. Tsubasa did the same, closing his eyes and letting out a long sigh. "It's been a long day. I think I'm going to bed." He mumbled before getting up and doing just that. I just resumed my previous position on the couch, dozen back off before too long.

Morning came and I went to work as always, got lecture from my boss, and bided my time until my lunch break came around. I went outside to find the boy from yesterday eagerly waiting at a patio table, an empty seat sitting across from him. He smiled and waved and I returned the gesture before taking my saved seat.

"I got us both some food… I-I wasn't sure what you liked so I just got us both burgers."

Of course he got me food. I smiled and thanked him but my stomach turned as I picked the sandwich up and took a small bite. _Oh god it was vile._ I knew my emotions were clear on my face because Haruto gave me curious look, cocking his head to the side a little.

"sorry… I've been sick this week, everything tastes kind of weird…"

He seemed to believe that because he smiled and started talking to me about his day and his schoolwork and I replied and threw a few words in here or there but predominately just let him speak. He was nice even a little attractive but that didn't matter much. He couldn't become friends or anything else for that matter with him. He would eventually put two and two together and then what? He didn't want to consider it. He's have lunch with him, take down his number, offer to call him and never do it. It sucked. He'd love to just go on dates and have a little fun but he knew he couldn't. He could hear Tsubasa now telling that same old, damn story. Oh well.

As he opened his mouth to proceed with his plan Haruto spoke up with a soft stutter. "s-so Kaito…" he said glancing down at the table.

Dammit that was cute. He knew this wouldn't end well for him. "Yeah?" I replied trying to seem casual.

"I-I had a lot of fun today…. I mean I um… was curious if..."

No. dammit no.

"You'd like to go out sometime- l-like on a date" he finished, his cheeks and ears turning a light shade of pink.

What was I supposed to say? I didn't want to just shoot him down, because I wanted to. I mean can't. But I wanted to. Dammit. I could just say no but Haruto was looking at him so eagerly and expectant, how could I turn that down? I mean one date wouldn't be a big deal. Just go out, go home, and never call again. It was just like my previous plan just with another date. Tsubasa never had to know.

I smiled at Haruto and nodded. "I'd love to."

His expression lit up at that response but quickly faltered in embarrassment. "th-that's great. We could go out to dinner this weekend maybe?"

I nodded and told him I'd pick him up Saturday. I said my goodbyes and waved as I walked away immediately regretting every decision I just made. A _dinner_ date. With a _human._ What the hell was I thinking? That is breaking the two cardinal rules of socializing as a ghoul!

he took a deep breath. it was fine. just one date.

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 **what sort of shenanigans will ensue on this date? keep reading to find out, and leave a review if you like the story so far!**


	4. Chapter 4

The date went off without a hitch shockingly enough. After bitching about my stomach and eventually convincing him that dinner wouldn't work we went to the movies and had a nice night. I got side eyed by a few local ghouls but they had enough sense not to come up and say anything. I now stood with Haruto on his doorstep. I would drop him off, tell him I'd call, and quit while I was ahead. Simple enough.

"I had a really nice time…" Haruto said with a shy smile.

"I did too. I'll call soon okay?"

Haruto nodded happily and I gave him a small smile.

before I could get the word goodbye out of my mouth his mother opened the door. "Oh you must be the boy Haruto went out with tonight!"

Haruto's cheeks turned bright red as I jumped in surprise. Shit. Just- how come I can never just walk away?

"Come in! have you two eaten?" she said happily. Haruto shook his head looking mortified like any teenager would and his mother invited us in. I begrudgingly followed with a smile into the house. We sat on the couch where his mother proceeded to bring us small snacks which I avoided eating.

Everything was going smoothly. I made small talk with his mother as I looked for a way out. As I started to excuse myself his father walked in. he was a tall man, intimidating but also seeming kind. He looked welcoming in the way that haruto did. He was dressed in a Kevlar vest and uniform. the combat uniform of an CCG agent. I tried to hold in my shock as he walked in the room slipping off his vest and coat.

"and who is this?" he said with a warm smile as he walked in the room.

"th-this Is Kaito" haruto mumbled embarrassed.

He held a hand out to me and I shook it, his firm grasp only making me feel more nervous. "it's nice to meet you Kaito. I take it you're Haruto's date?"

I nodded with a nervous smile. "yes sir."

"well it's nice to meet you. Would you like to stay for dinner?"

I tried to excuse myself but of course Haruto's mother wasn't having that. She didn't want me going home hungry. Despite my efforts I found myself at their dinner table, swallowing bites of food and holding back the disgust. It was like eating rotting meat, it took all my strength to hold back the bile. My train of thought was broken by the voice of Haruto's mother.

"sweetie, did you hear me?"

"hm? No.. sorry"

She smiled warmly. "I said are you feeling alright… you seem a bit pale."

Haruto interjected before I had a chance to come up with some kind of excuse. "he.. said he was feeling a bit sick earlier.."

I nodded in agreement making her frown some, "well if you're sick don't feel like you have to eat…"

She and Haruto both had looks of genuine concern but not his father. No he was just frowning, his brow furrowed. He was suspicious, I could tell. We locked eyes for a long moment, my face paling some as he glanced back down at his plate. He knew. This had gone way too far.

I quickly stood and excused myself to the bathroom where I proceeded to throw up the dinner I had just forced down. Maybe because the taste still hung heavy in my mouth or maybe out of sheer fear but I still knelt there, my head hanging over the white porcelain bowl.

Maybe he won't say anything. I'm not causing him trouble and it's not like he has any proof. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe he was just worried. I took a shaky breath, nausea still hitting me in waves.

I'm not getting killed over some date.

Before I could compose my thoughts or stave off the nausea still washing over me I heard a sharp knock on the door.

I took a deep shaky breath and sat down on the cool porcelain tile. This is it.

"c-come in" I said hoarsely, ready to try and defend myself if need be.

Haruto's father opened the door slowly and stepped in. "are you alright?" he said as he kneeled down in front of me. Even like this he was intimidatingly tall compared to me.

I nodded with a little fear obvious on my face. He could see. I knew he could. He was trained to weed out people like me.

"look…. Kaito right? I know what you are… and if I see you here again I will do my job." He paused looking me up and down. "But I don't think you're here to hurt my son… "

I tried to stammer out an excuse but he held up a hand. "I'm giving you an out. I think you should take it…."

I sat there for a long time in silence before nodding. "yes sir…" he nodded as well before helping me up.

"just… try not to upset haruto… he likes you" he said as I stumbled to my feet.

"isn't compassion and mercy to ghouls like blasphemy or something to you guys?"

His expression dropped. "I don't think you're exactly in a position to be talking back right now kaito…" he sighed and shook his head. "look just finish off this date and leave… I don't want my son around your kind."

I scoffed and shook my head. "my kind… yeah whatever… I didn't plan on dragging this whole thing out anyway…"

 **sorry for the long wait! I'll be updating a lot more frequently now. please review!**


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